Things have been fine for the past week or so, in that lovely chartreuse period of late spring before summer's sauna kicks in. Our garden, after a marathon yard work session, is looking good. Spinach and lettuce are cooking, as are some tiny beets and some fast-growing peas. My anxiety has passed, at least until our next ob appointment in a week and a half. We've had some amazing spring storms and way more rain than usual.
I've been feeling good. Sometimes a bit tired, sometimes really slow and fat and winded compared to my old chop-chop self, but generally good. Evenings are spent watching hulu in two overstuffed chairs we've dragged into our tiny third bedroom (aka "the study" where the computer sits). My husband drinks beer--he is after all working 60+ hours so that we can have a nice pile of cash for October and beyond--and I eat ice cream.
I should be hard at work on my dissertation, but I seem to be finding a hundred little (often income earning) things to prevent me from working on it. Part of me feels deeply apathetic, or at least ambivalent. If I'm no longer all that hot to go into academia, why bother to write a book no one will read and no one will care about, not even me?
But then again, maybe I should just bite the bullet and finish the sucker--I'm almost halfway there and haven't touched it really since last summer--so that I can force people to call me Dr. Or maybe I can just get force people to call me Dr., without the work.
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8 comments:
"Dr." always sounds good, right? Are there other, non-academic directions you could go with the degree? My baby sister (who does her comps in December, I think) is already looking at other options in case teaching positions are too scarce.
Nooo... "Update" is a snazzy title! And to prove that, I've used it quite often. :P
Your garden sounds fantastic! Someday I will have one when I don't live under a canopy of forest.
Glad to hear things are going pretty normal. I love that new Hulu commercial with the guy that plays Stewie!!!
i remember WAY back when i was working on my thesis, i just couldn't bring myself to finish it until i had a hard deadline set (i.e. my defence date). i also remember feeling pretty down about the whole process -- spending a beautiful summer inside at my parents' dining room table was not my idea of fun! perhaps that's why i didn't continue with academia!
you'll get it done shinejil, you're doing much more important work right now! ;)
If you marry a German doctor, then in Germany, they'll call you Frau Doctor (which is exactly what they call you if you are a chick and you earn your own degree). So, yeah. I totally stole my "title" from my husband. And when I'm feeling really shitty, I demand that people don't call me Ms. Mc.Farl.and, but rather Frau Doctor Wig.ger.s. Shitty call center employee giving me a hassle about some crap? "Excuse me, if you're going to use my formal title, then GET IT RIGHT. It's FRAU DOCTOR WI.GG.ERS. *Angry Sigh*"
My veggie garden is total shit this year. Herbs (at least the perennial ones, and the requisite basil... and the random parsley that popped up *during* this year's big snowfall, and is somehow still kickin'), and two lonely tomato plants are all I got in this year. Of course, we just found out that we'll have a house sitter while we're gone, so we should have gone ahead and planted more veggies, since there would be someone here to water while we are gone, but alas. It's just a little too late for that now.
I did finally get out in the yard today and take care of a few things that really needed attention. The happy surprise were three perfect, largish strawberries hanging out under my thyme. They were delicious. Considering that we planted a single strawberry plant three years ago, and have only ever gotten tiny unripe berries off of it, to have seen runners popping up EVERYWHERE that actually are growing fruit? Well, call me excited.
I don't know. I guess it was just nice to get out in the sunshine and get my hands in some dirt, finally. Though I have to say that the whole beer/ice cream/hulu thing sounds like a most pleasant way to spend an evening, too.
Dr. Shinejil. Has a nice ring to it.
It would probably be easier to finish things before there is a little one demanding all your time. Just saying. . .
Glad things are going mostly well. I hope they continue to do so.
I totally hear you on the apathy/ambivalence front! I feel exactly the same with regard to completing my thesis - particularly as, like you, I'm increasingly questioning whether I want a 'career' in academia. I'm sure we will both get round to submitting at some point in the future; it's just that we have other priorities at the moment.
And your garden sounds absolutely lovely...
Basic principal of economics: sunk cost. Basically, don't throw good money (or time or academic credits) after bad. I'm not saying that there isn't value in commitment and completion. BUT. I also don't think that one should continue to do something solely because they've been doing it so far. JMHO.
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