Where I've gone. The me who used to do all sorts of stuff? Gone. The new me spends the day strategizing how to poop with a restless baby who refuses to be put down for more than 10 minutes.
Sigh.
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I think I can, I think I can...
IF CV
August 2011-Now, for variety, a blighted ovum. Geesh.
May 2011-Chemical pregnancy. First pee stick positive ever.
Oct 2009-Induced at 37 weeks but give birth to healthy boy after easy labor.
May 2009-Find out we're having a boy.
April 2009-Become a completely boring pregnant lady with a due date of Oct. 22, 2009.
March 2009-Surprise! Twins with heartbeats.
Ah, whoops. Make that one.
January/February 2009-Next "scientific" cycle. Good ol' injects/IUI, with 8 or so follicles. BFP.
Beta 1=88
Beta 2=242
December 2008-cycle au natural?
October-November 2008-Twiddling my thumbs as my hCG drops...
July-September 2008-IUI + Follistim. 8 (!?!) follicles mature. Pregnant, but with AF-like bleeding and weird beta wildness suggesting an ectopic pregnancy. Treated medically (methotrexate).
April-July 2008-taking a break from medical treatment, just to see what happens/recover some sanity/write a lot on my dis /train for a triathlon.
March 2008- hysteroscopy and lap. Three polyps removed, a tiny amount of endo lasered, otherwise, "Everything looks good in there." Evil spots banished, it seems.
Feb. 2008- Saline sonogram; Dx: polyps!
Feb. 2008- 50 mg Clomid, days 3-7. Good response, but no dice.
Jan. 2008- First RE appointment.
Sept. 2007- Acupuncturist discontinues herbs, my cycles remain good though with occasional spotting some months.
April 2007- HSG: All clear.
March 2007- ultrasound and progesterone blood test confirm ovulation.
December 2006- TSH=4.5; Dx: Mild hypothyroidism. Begin thyroid hormone replacement. All other tests normal.
November 2006- begin weekly acupuncture, soon add herbs. Spotting gradually improves.
October 2006- Husband's S/A great.
September 2006- Flip out, husband makes obgyn appointment, now that I finally have health insurance.
September 2005- Start charting. Amazingly textbook cycles, but with disturbing luteal phase spotting.
June 2005- No prevention, but not really "trying" per se...
May 2011-Chemical pregnancy. First pee stick positive ever.
Oct 2009-Induced at 37 weeks but give birth to healthy boy after easy labor.
May 2009-Find out we're having a boy.
April 2009-Become a completely boring pregnant lady with a due date of Oct. 22, 2009.
March 2009-Surprise! Twins with heartbeats.
Ah, whoops. Make that one.
January/February 2009-Next "scientific" cycle. Good ol' injects/IUI, with 8 or so follicles. BFP.
Beta 1=88
Beta 2=242
December 2008-cycle au natural?
October-November 2008-Twiddling my thumbs as my hCG drops...
July-September 2008-IUI + Follistim. 8 (!?!) follicles mature. Pregnant, but with AF-like bleeding and weird beta wildness suggesting an ectopic pregnancy. Treated medically (methotrexate).
April-July 2008-taking a break from medical treatment, just to see what happens/recover some sanity/write a lot on my dis /train for a triathlon.
March 2008- hysteroscopy and lap. Three polyps removed, a tiny amount of endo lasered, otherwise, "Everything looks good in there." Evil spots banished, it seems.
Feb. 2008- Saline sonogram; Dx: polyps!
Feb. 2008- 50 mg Clomid, days 3-7. Good response, but no dice.
Jan. 2008- First RE appointment.
Sept. 2007- Acupuncturist discontinues herbs, my cycles remain good though with occasional spotting some months.
April 2007- HSG: All clear.
March 2007- ultrasound and progesterone blood test confirm ovulation.
December 2006- TSH=4.5; Dx: Mild hypothyroidism. Begin thyroid hormone replacement. All other tests normal.
November 2006- begin weekly acupuncture, soon add herbs. Spotting gradually improves.
October 2006- Husband's S/A great.
September 2006- Flip out, husband makes obgyn appointment, now that I finally have health insurance.
September 2005- Start charting. Amazingly textbook cycles, but with disturbing luteal phase spotting.
June 2005- No prevention, but not really "trying" per se...
My Comrades in IF
- 1000 easy steps
- A Woman My Age
- Adventures in Life
- Alicia (IF with a strong dose of good food and funky interiors)
- Apron Strings for Emily
- Are we there yet?
- Baby Incredible
- Baby smiling in back seat
- Batty Nurse
- Bee in the Bonnet
- Bottoms off and on the table
- Chasing a Child
- Coming 2 Terms
- Concieve This!
- Creative Girl
- Do Without Doing
- Frustrated Musings of a Lovely Gal (my title, not hers)
- Geeks in Rome
- How to get 0 to pregnant in 365 easy steps
- Indyness
- Infertility on the Brain
- Infertility Rocks!
- ISO the golden egg
- It's Either Sadness or Euphoria
- Life From Here
- Little Bit o' Something
- Long Distance Infertility
- Lost in Taipei
- Makes You Stronger
- Mixing it up: my new reality
- Mrs. Spit Spouts
- Nancy: Infertile, Sarcastic, and Cool as Hell
- Nuts in May
- Project Kjetil
- Quest for a Lifetime
- Reproductively Challenged
- Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters
- The Art of Being Infertile
- The Baby Chase
- The Great Space Baby Coaster
- The Misfit
- The Road Less Travelled
- The Young and the Infertile
- Two Hot Mamas
- Uppercase Woman
- We Are What We Repeatedly Do
- When you gotta glow
- Who Shot My Stork?
- Working on it
For Distraction, Apply Within
- Cake Wrecks
- Crummy Church Signs
- Cute Things with Douche Bags
- failblog
- Go Fug Yourself
- Grist.org: for all your green musings
- Horrible License Plates
- It's Lovely, I'll Take It!
- Judge a Book by its Cover
- Passive Aggressive Notes
- Photoshop Disasters
- Picture is Unrelated
- Small Town Misfit
- STFU, Parents
- The Anti-Cute Overload
- The RE's eye view of IF
- Things I Learned from Wikipedia
- You Suck at Craig's List
10 comments:
It gets better. Seriously. Very soon, he'll be more independent and you'll feel comfortable setting boundaries and making time for yourself. I had an utter breakdown around 6 weeks because I was so exhausted and just spent. hang in there.
That you will come back eventually. In the meantime I hope you find great ways of doing stuff while holding a little one.
I dealt with this just yesterday using my sling, pain coping techniques, a very bad latch onto the breast, and lots of singing to a grumpy boy. So I can certainly relate. Sigh indeed.
Pooping is important. You'll find time for all sorts of stuff, later.
;)
I'm over here LMAO.
Uh... your poop or his poop?
ah yes, pooping and showering were rare, much-anticipated events...
But it will not always be like this. It takes a long time, but gradually (like at 6+months?) you will be able to sneak in a bit of you-time in your day.
I found I didn't resent it or get depressed about it b/c my midwife drilled into us that you will be completely absorbed by mom duties so don't even expect or plan anything that takes you away from the essential (feed/change baby, cuddle, nap, eat, drink. period).
Since she never gave me a time frame for when that ends I assumed it was "forever" so the day (when Pea was two) I did have time to read a bit of a book while the kids were awake I was dumbfounded.
Set really loooow expectations and goals and you will manage. really!
Yep, those velcro babies make life challenging, don't they? I used this mantra: "I wanted this child really badly and he's only going to be this little once" ... which didn't really make me feel better, but it did keep my brain from whining for those 30 seconds while I was saying the mantra : )
Ah the perils of new motherhood. I only get private poops at work now. Most of my #2s at home are with Simone lying at my feet in a plastic baby bath and babbling at me the entire time.
Yes, some days my biggest victory was finding time to take a shower. I kept a list and for a long time nothing got crossed off (writing my "Thank You" cards comes to mind). It will get better though! :)
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