Sure, we're never gonna survive unless... etc. But I hate the way ob appointments always manage to make me completely and utterly psychotic for no discernible logical reason.
I should be happy: Bruiser's beating away at 144 or something bpm, my uterus is a good size, my cervix is closed and long, I've gained a bit of weight but not too terribly much, and everything's just hunky dory. It's our anniversary today.
But I'm wrapped in a web of anxiety, a delayed reaction to the pelvic exam today, methinks. I'm worried about my various test results. I'm worried about a fellowship I applied for. I'm worried because my in-laws bought us a lovely antique cradle and it's sitting in our living room, staring back at me. I'm worried about insurance next semester. I'm just worried, with that gut-knotting free-range anxiety that has no clear anchor or cause.
For the first time in months, I wish I could have a glass of red wine.
10 comments:
Worry is part of the deal, methinks. And it lasts until they move out... wait, I hear it lasts way longer than that.
Boy, I am just a fucking ray of sunshine eh?
Hang in there hun. Things will work out. For now, Bruiser is kicking ass, taking names.
i'm so sorry that your worry is taking over! being a worrywart myself i know hard it can be. my only advice (that i wish i could take myself) is to just take things one day at a time. focus on the positive (again, i should definitely take my own advice!) and know that all will work out in the end.
i know you can't have red wine, but can you have some good chocolate instead????
hugs to you and happy anniversary!!!!
I'm sorry about all the worrying. Never fun. Never never.
Here's the part where I'm going to temporarily go all mommy-know-it-all, if only for a second. All of that worrying is your mind practicing for parenthood. Kiddo's existence, while one of the most wonderful blessings I've ever known, brought me a new ability to worry that I never thought possible.
Whew. Super ugly sentence construction there.
Anyhow, know that your worries are normal and justified that that I'm cheering like a madwoman for you.
happy anniversary! Hope you can enjoy the moment.
ONE glass of red wine is not going to hurt Bruiser. Really. Some drs actually recommend it occasionally.
Happy Anniversary!
Of course there will be anxiety, just try not to let it get to you too much. And red wine is overrated. At least that is what I keep telling myself. . .
I've come to realize that instead of ratcheting down the anxiety as each milestone is reached, it actually gets ratched UP. Because the stakes are higher, the losses greater, the reward more tantalizing. No wonder you are so anxious.
But, I also know within my bones that you and Bruiser are going to be ok. And I know that you know that worrying about something will not prevent it from happening. But, worrying also helps you feel that you are doing something productive. My solution: find a seriously engrossing good book. Whenever you feel that anxiety begin to take hold, get lost in the book. When you come back, you'll find that what you were worrying about wasn't as much of a big deal.
Hugs.
I'd like to share one with you. Happy Anniversary...sorry the anxiety is getting to you.
I hope you had a happy anniversary! The posters above had some great thoughts and advice. Hopefully this bout of worry is just a passing storm cloud. Hang in there and know that we're pulling for you, your hubs and Bruiser.
Thinking of you. Hope the worry takes a back seat for a bit. Hugs to you.
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