(Pregnancy, theorectical children mentioned.)
I had to give a midterm yesterday (for my intensive 8-week class). While I was rushing to find an unoccupied ladies room, my advisor, whom I had been bugging about various things over email, appeared and insisted we talk.
We discussed various options for me next year, and had a good chat, as usual. He recalled his own grad student days, when he was expecting his kids. Like many grad students, his family was on Medicaid and WIC. He recommended I get the apple juice concentrate from WIC, which he said was pretty good straight.
Perhaps we need to change the name: Not WIC, but WICSCGS (Women, Infant Children, and Sugar-Crazed Grad Students).
It's crazy to think the guy running our department at a Research One major university, not all that long ago, was getting government support. And funny enough, he's a Republican.
I will likely also be on WIC and our child will hopefully qualify for insurance under the state children's health insurance plan. It's that, or pay $6500 a year through the university, or around $400 through my guy's job. That's a big chunk of his take home pay, at a time when that will basically be all we have (though my guy's already got two other part-time jobs cooking, bless his hardworking heart).
Which is why we are going to have the thriftiest damn layette in existance. I mean, we won't be using a cardboard box as a basinet, but we'll be close. Thank goodness for a bevy of psyched grandparents and incredibly supportive (and better earning) friends with toddlers and left-over baby loot.
I say this not to complain, but to get the word out: It's totally possible to have a good life on the cheap, with a little help from the community, and even state and federal government if need be. It really does take a village, when you're on a shoestring.
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Agreed! My newest BFF is the book "Baby Bargains". An 8th edition was just published. I think it's $11 - $12 on amazon... highly recommended for cutting through the crap when it comes to buying baby stuff. They have a message board as well, with links to coupon codes and such. :)
It definitely does take a community! I'm glad that you have the resources available and such a hardworking guy. What a trooper! I keep meaning to ask you, what is your EDD?
Interesting post. I know when I first started trying to get pregnant I had an expensive crib, crib set etc all picked out. Now I'm like will be happy with cheap crib and I couldn't care less about the expensive crib sets. I just want the baby. Craigs list is a great place for getting good cheap used stuff. Ebay too.
That message is a real public service - more people should know this. When I was in law school, it seemed like everybody was having babies (not me, of course), and they passed around clothes, shared items, were often on state-funded health insurance, and did without all the fancy-schmancy baby stuff the industry wants everyone to go nuts for.
And when I think of all the things I spend money on now - just because I have it, I guess - that I did ENTIRELY without and was perfectly happy before - well, I think living with less is probably more joyful. Less time spent making sure you meet your own perception of everyone else's standards!
I note that I still buy ALL my "play-clothes" (everything but suits) at thrift stores, buy the suits at Marshall's, do my own French manicures (this is a wonderful inexpensive treat, IMO), and cut my own hair. So, you know, people pinching pennies are definitely not alone.
I think it is great that you can get this assistance.
Your kid won't care if it had fancy stuff as a baby, what will matter is the love you all share.
Post or e-mail what you need. I'm not far away, and Simone will have grown out of some of her stuff by the time you deliver.
This past Friday, there was a departmental happy hour, and Hot Colleague and his wife were there. HC's wife works for Gl.a.xo-Smi.th-K.li.ne as some sort of high-up ish person. Somehow, we were talking about getting free drug samples from the doc (how my doc is pretty generous with them, but how I turn her down about half the time b/c she has patients that don't have insurance that are much worse off than we are, etc.) and HC's wife turned to me and said that if I ever have a kid, I should totally look in to getting WIC, because I am a student and H's income is not so great, and we would totally qualify.
Um, first, we weren't talking about kids, but okay. Second, how NICE of you to notice that every single other person at the table makes more money than their co-worker (aka my husband) AND that he's supporting a lazy, layabout student wife! How awesome of you to make *perfectly clear* to every single one of us how economically disadvantaged we are!
Granted, if/when I ever get knocked up, I will *totally* look into any and all aid programs available, but seriously. Did she really have to do that? She is generally one of the nicest people that I know, so I know that she didn't mean anything bad by it, but it just felt really fucked up that she makes close to $400 K a year, AND her husband is a colleague of my husband's, and her husband makes a shit ton more than mine does. I mean, good or bad meaning, is it ever appropriate to discuss salaries, especially when the speaker clearly has a much higher income than the listener?
Gah. Not sure why I just had to blab all of that in your comments section... just wanted to share, I guess, that it's a pretty common notion in these parts as well that WIC is great for student-types. And that apparently, without me even knowing it, Heiko and I are the "poor" ones in his department. I mean, I guess owning a home and land and nice things and being able to (barely, but still) afford travel, and eating great food, and pretty much never wanting for anything means that we're poor. Cool. I wonder what non-first-worlders would think of that...
Seriously, I wish someone would have told me this YEARS ago so I wouldn't have waited to try this baby thing! The classic, wait until everything is perfect really didn't pan out well.
totally takes a village! i don't know what i would do without all the things given to us and lent to us! we would be totally in debt over this baby! haha
Loving those socialist residuals. So glad you can take advantage of some kind of aid.
Food pantries, too, have decent enough staples, sometimes. Get the garden going. Drive-bys (bike-bys) the evening before dump day. Dumpster diving (my bro would go to dumpsters right after college got out and get tons of good stuff, especially almost empty shampoos, detergent... it all added up).
I had a baby shower and asked people to bring hand-me-down anythings (clothes, shoes, books). those who didn't have second-hand stuff went to garage sales and picked up BAGS of clothes for a dollar each.
I had didn't buy anything for my kids except a carrying sling, a yoga ball for bouncing colicky baby and diapers. I learned later you could make your own flannel diapers.
everything was "previously loved" or I got creative like using a low laundry basket with handles for the cradle (i'd rock it with it on top of my foot), a taller laundry basket to grip and slide along the floor for a walker...
my midwife always said: think of Lucy (our prehistoric sister found in Africa). What did she have to give her baby? nothing but her boobs, her arms, her love, her smile, her voice and her protection. That is all your baby wants and needs.
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