Yesterday, I found myself feeling gloomier and gloomier. Partly because I felt terrible physically and partly because I felt emotionally insane. Then, I got a rejection letter in my inbox for a paper proposal I'd submitted. Yes, another nope for this cursed side project I keep trying to do something with.
It about sent me over the edge for whatever reason. Despair began to seep in, and I knew I had to get the hell out of the house. So I headed to the Y in a mad, brisk walk.
By the time I was a third of the way there, I was resigned to my fate: IF failures and academic failures were just coming with the territory for the next few years. By the time I was two thirds of the way there, I was grimly determined to kick against the pricks and not let any of this horseshit get me down.
And by the time I was done with my little workout, I was at peace. Not over the moon with joy, but calm and content. And it didn't make my ovaries hurt (unlike the walk there).
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6 comments:
I'm sorry, glad the workout was able to bring you some peace.
You did a great job getting yourself out of the funk! The despairs are inevitable, especially when you are climbing Mount Infertility and you sometimes feel like Sisyphus. But, how you get out of them - that is where you shine, Shinejil. You kick their asses, my dear, and I'll take their names! Be proud of yourself for taking such good care of yourself. That is what matters most. :)
I always find I have the least resistance to anything negative when I'm feeling tired and vulnerable. sorry about the rejection letter. hope you're feeling a little better.
Ahh... endorphins! Sometimes they are a big help.
Sorry about the rejection letter.
Chin up.
Good job working through the muck. You might find yourself drawing upon that particular skill frequently in the next couple of weeks.
Are you starting to feel your ovaries already?
So sorry about the rejection letter; they clearly don't know what they're missing out on! But glad to hear the workout helped.
Hang on in there, my friend!
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