A Flash in the Pan

Hot flash, that is! Yes, I've joined the secret C sisterhood--though Google reveals some brothers out there who take C, too, for bodybuilding reasons or something. I definitely had a hot flash last night, as Deathstar so aptly put it, the oily, sticky sweats that come from hormonal madness.

The interesting thing was that I woke up in the middle of the night not because of the actual flash itself, but because of the slightly damp comforter. I promptly fell back asleep.

I've been thinking a lot, thanks in part to all the wonderful comments you've left, about how I'd like to proceed with this process. Though this is not really my style, I almost want to make some sort of cost-projected benefit matrix in chart form, just so we could visually see what the possible time and money commitments would be. It feels like solving one of those silly logic puzzles I loved as a child, where you set up a grid and fill in the boxes. The logic in this exercise gives me a false sense of security, that this problem can be solved by intellect. I know that's silly, but this process has taught me that you take the illusory satisfaction when you can.

So, looking back on my line in the sand, I see it's not really about the treatment method, it's about time, about brain real estate. I only have so much time to devote to this effort before I lose my will. I only have so much space for lease in my mind. My guy gets it now...