I got a good night's sleep (aka 12 hours) and things seem less terrifying. The funny thing about fear is that you actually can beat it. I don't mean stop feeling it, but stop letting it grab you with those big, harsh claws and shake your heart to bits.
My plan is to keep busy and to try to practice some mental discipline. As there is only a limited amount of discipline available at one time, this means I get to eat whatever I want. I'm sure this will help my already bloated belly look fab in my somewhat ill-fitting clothes.
Thanks for your support. I guess it's tougher to live with uncertainty when you have something to lose.
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5 comments:
Oh, you put it so well! I hope everything continues to be perfect for you!!!
Wow, Shinejil. That bit about fear is absolutely perfectly spot on. I need to put that up on my fridge.
I haven't gotten around to commenting on your last post, so I'll just roll my response into one, which I gather is what everyone else said, too. But I do think it's harder once you're pregnant. When I'm in the 2ww going nuts, I comfort myself with the knowledge that there are only 2 possible outcomes. Either I'm pregnant, or I'm not. If I'm not, I'm not, as much as it sucks. But once you are pregnant, there are so many more possibilities, as you know all too well. And even when everything is going perfectly and your baby is healthy, you will never again have that simplicity of two options. So no wonder it's tougher.
Hope that wasn't one of those things that tries to be comforting and ends up sending you into an existential crisis. I just want to honour what you're going through.
Much love to you, along with a batch of freshly made muffins and a pot of borscht.
Ugh. It just breaks my heart people have to live with this kind of fearIt already sucked enough there was a past loss, but for that to have to continue to fuck up the future? ~hugs~
I hope you do beat it.
ohh good last sentenance!
I am glad you are feeling better today, sleep can make a world of difference hey?
I got over my the fear the same way annacyclo said. It's going to happen or not. It's meant to be or not. Nothing I can do now except live well.
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