I'm really craving a beer. And I'm going to go get one after work.
And the next disc of Season 3, Battlestar Galactica. Nothing like a post-nuclear chase across the stars to make me forget why I feel so fracking sorry for myself. :)
***
Edited to add (since I feel like a psycho posting a gazillion times today): You know what really pisses me off? No, it's not that other gals get knocked up by having a penis waved in their general direction. No, it's not that we have to bleed ourselves dry to pay for this because no one thinks it's an actual, bone fide medical problem I'm having.
It's that I felt like shit physically for a week and have nothing but a big ol' bloat belly and gut-wrenching pain to show for it. Nothing but gobs of gook that could be used effectively in a horror movie pouring out of me.
I'm also pissed that I still have to go in early tomorrow morning, have someone puncture my mofo vein, bruise me, cause me discomfort, and pay for it so that they can call me and tell me that, yes, indeed, that is your uterine lining flopping out of your hooha.
I mean, why bother with any of this?
I'm also pissed because my guy's having an existential freak out, and thus can't support me. I went over and spent an hour with him at work, holding him while he wept as he wrestled with hypochondriac fears of cancer related to his birthmark and was overwhelmed by the harsh beauty of existence. He's amazing for having such a rich, deep inner life and sharing it with me. It's just shit timing. No one's fault, but I'm still pissed.
He's got a dermatologist appointment for early September, just to help him relax.
Fuck all this. I'm going to go home, drink a beer, and refuse to move from in front of the laptop. Admiral Adama, jump me into some other galaxy.
Did I mention I'm pissed?
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7 comments:
Definitely drink a beer. Yech. (Oh, but can I say I *love* your description of menstrual blood? And how weird is that question?))
I'm pissed too, for you. Go have that beer and stay in front of that computer for hours or days, whatever.
really so sorry, and it makes it harder that DH is not in a supportive place right now, I really hope everything is ok with him!
I'm so sorry this cycle didn't work out for you. After how you were feeling, I was cautiously optimistic that those were good signs. Shit on toast.
Well, enjoy your beer for what it's worth. (and maybe have two)
Have a beer for me too, ok?
Aww ... sweetie, I'm so sorry about the bad news. It just plain S-U-C-K-S ...
And you're right ... having nothing to show but pain and a big ole bloated belly doesn't seem to be worth it, eh?
So sorry also about your guy's REALLY bad timing! I mean seriously ... WTF?!
Go get your beer and your frackin' BSG season 3. You deserve it!!
HUGS!
fucking shit. This sucks. If you've been reading me lately, you'll know I don't like it when women go and get IUIs with multiple follicles, but I never would put you in that category because I know of your lining issues (because it was the bane of my own existence too). I wanted to to tell you that when I first started talking about the situation and knew you were going ahead, but didn't want to bring it up in case you weren't aware of it.
Man. I was hoping and hoping for you. As you were too, I know. It always made me a little uneasy seeing the "i really wanted this for you!" after a failed cycle of my own, wanting to shout back "I wanted it MORE!". But knew it wasn't the right response to support.
I'm rambling.
And I'm super sorry. I wish so much you couldn't have a beer right now. ~hugs~
It totally sucks. If I was there, I would buy the beer for you! (((hugs)))
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